Practicing Sobriety Over The Holidays: Tips for Hosts and Guests
A 2021 Stats Canada survey found that during covid, despite what you may think, more Canadians decreased their alcohol intake than increased it. 22%, in fact, have decreased their alcohol intake over the past 2 years. Believe it or not, sobriety or limiting alcohol intake is growing all over the world. In Japan, the increase of sober young people is so large that it’s impacting the food and beverage industry. In the UK, Gen Z and Millenials are gaining a reputation for being sober.
What is sobriety though? Why are people sober? And how do you stay sober during the holidays, a time when drinking is almost expected?
Note on substance use disorder
Substance use disorder is an incredibly complex disease. It is not something that someone can simply “quit”. The disease impacts brain and physical functionalities and requires medical and psychological treatments. It is something that a person will struggle with their entire lives.
In Canada, it’s estimated that about 21% of people, or 6 million Canadians, will experience a substance use disorder at some point in their lives. Alcohol is one of the top addictions in Canada.
There are free and confidential resources out there to help you if you are suffering from substance use disorder. Please check out this Government of Canada page that outlines free resources all over the country. You are not alone.
What is sobriety
Being sober is the practice of abstaining from alcohol or drugs. Semi-sobriety is the act of drinking less or limiting the intake of drugs and alcohol without cutting it off completely. This practice is often used by people who are not suffering from alcohol use disorder but make the choice themselves to cut back on alcohol.
Sober curiosity
Being “sober curious” is a health trend that grew in 2022 and will only become more popular in 2023. The awareness that what we consume impacts our health is higher now than ever before in history. Alcohol is one of those topics that people – especially young people – are talking about more than ever. Levels of sobriety are growing in popularity for this and many other reasons, all over the world.
Why limit alcohol intake?
The most immediate impact of alcohol occurs mentally. Alcohol affects your inhibition receptors, leading to decision making and thoughts that you wouldn’t normally do or have. In the moment, you can feel increased confidence and reduced stress and anxiety. This feeling of “freeness” is why people often drink. This, however, can quickly give way to feelings of fear, increased anxiety and depression. Alcohol, after all, is a depressive drug and does bring you down. Plus, the morning after can be brutal for the emotional hangover of “what did I say?” or “what did I do?” — all on top of the physical hangover that can leave you bedridden for a day or more.
Short term effects of alcohol include dehydration, drowsiness, loss of coordination, nausea and impaired motor coordination.
Extended, repeated alcohol consumption seriously impacts your body. It can lead to high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, liver disease, different cancers including cancer of the throat, liver, esophagus, mouth and even colon.
Regular drinking also can lower the overall quality of your sleep. Alcohol disrupts your sleep cycle because you don’t get as much REM - the sleep stage that really makes you feel rested. When you drink alcohol, you don’t sleep as much as you pass out. So this, repeatedly, over many days, weeks, months or years can build up a sleep debt that is incredibly challenging to make up. People think that since they’re sleeping it doesn’t matter. But it definitely does. And, as we talk about often, sleep is the foundation for your overall health.
Other reasons for sobriety include:
Not liking the feeling of being drunk
Job requirements
Trying for a baby or being pregnant
Health conditions or medication limitations
Battling substance use disorder
They simply choose to be sober
Any other number of personal reasons you can think of
There are many benefits to being sober or limiting alcohol consumption including:
Healthier liver and other organs
Improved sleep
Stabilized mood
Lower risk of disease
Lower blood sugar
Save money
And so many more
Being sober over the holidays
Drinking is a social practice that goes hand in hand with the holidays. If you are cutting back, limiting or refraining from consuming alcohol, it can be hard to maintain during the Christmas season. It’s an assumption that someone attending a holiday party or sitting down at a gathering will be sipping on a cocktail or glass of wine.
This assumption is probably the hardest part of enforcing boundaries. It’s challenging to be the only one in the room saying no.
If you’re nervous about the season, we’ve got some tips to help.
Tips to feel confident in staying sober at holiday parties
Here are some of our tips to help you stay true to yourself and your alcohol boundaries this holiday.
1. Bring your own beverages
Who says you need to rely on your hosts to have options? Bringing your own drinks is a great way to make sure you don’t have to answer questions or be limited to water. There are plenty of delicious non-alcoholic options to choose from.
Soda, sparkling water, juice and water are options. But seasonal mocktails, alcohol-free drinks, sparkling juice etc can all take your drinks to the next level – all at 0% alcohol content.
2. Reach out to hosts ahead of time
Depending on your relationship with the hosts, consider reaching out and asking about drink options ahead of time. You can also let them know that you’ll be limiting your drinks and don’t want to be pushed on it.
Obviously, this isn’t always optional or comfortable if the gathering is a work get together, or you aren’t super close with the hosts. But if you can have that conversation ahead of time, you may feel better attending.
3. Know you don’t have to explain yourself
There are many reasons that you could not be drinking. And you don’t owe a “why” to anyone. Remember that “no” is a full sentence. So whether you’re limiting yourself to 1 drink or not drinking at all, saying “no thank you” should be enough.
If people push you, know that you aren’t doing anything wrong by saying no. You should always feel empowered to leave any situation that does not make you feel comfortable. This can be more complex over the holidays when family is involved but know that leaving a gatherings is always an option.
4. Keep self care a top priority
The pressures of the holiday season can build up over time. If staying sober at gatherings isn’t challenging, not opening a drink at home later on can be. Make sure you have time during the season to do all the things you normally do to take care of yourself and feel grounded. The lack of routine can be a big challenge personally to be sober. So, get enough sleep, eat vegetables, try to get outside for a walk or to move your body, and find time to do what you enjoy.
Check out these DELISH mocktails from The Bump.
Tips for hosting a sober-friendly holiday
If you are hosting parties this season, you can make sure your gatherings are sober friendly with these tips.
1. Have Drink options
Being a good host is about making all your guests feel welcome. You should have options available that don’t have alcohol in them. Pop and juice are nice, but go the extra mile with a holiday mocktail, sparkling cider or other drinks. Not only will it make your sober guests feel welcome, but it can also be enjoyable for all guests to see that drinking does not have to be the only option.
2. Speak up when you notice peer pressure
If you are hosting a party, it is your responsibility to say something if you notice one of your sober guests being questions about their drinking choices. You don’t need to make it a big thing or bring more attention to it. Stepping in with a, “They don’t have to drink, it’s their choice” can be enough to end a conversation. Being that example will make your sober friends feel welcome and limit any future awkwardness between them and other guests.
3. Don’t ask questions
If a guest reaches out about alcohol free drink options or mentions not drinking over the season, it is not your place to ask why. If that person chooses to elaborate, that is their call. But you don’t need to know their reasons. And there are many potential reasons for it. As listed above, they could be abstaining for health reasons, because they are trying to have a baby, are on antibiotics, etc.
Whatever the reasoning, it’s up to them if they want to tell you or not.
4. Promote moderation
There’s a fine line between drinking and being drunk. Crossing this line can get messy. Being a great host can be about promoting moderation and encouraging your guests – all of them! – to stay on the side of sobriety. You can do this by shutting down the party a little earlier, having lots of food available, providing non-alcoholic beverages and not having an open bar.
You should also be sure to provide a safe way for people to get home, encourage people to order cabs and have a place for people to leave their cars if they are drinking.
Have a safe and happy holiday
The holiday season can be stressful for a lot of people. Drinking or not drinking alcohol shouldn't be one of those stressors. More and more people are not drinking so having alcohol-free options and accepting sober living will need to become more common. Be kind to yourself and kind to others this season by accepting that not drinking is a choice that is completely okay to make.
We wish you all a healthy, happy and safe holiday season.